a kick in the pants.

They say that once you become a parent, you sleep differently. That you never get a full night's sleep again. There are nights when Chris or I wake up with a start, sitting up in bed and frantically reaching for a phantom Benjamin who we SWEAR is just about to fall off the bed. Sounds crazy, but we've both done it more times than I can count. It usually takes the non-frantic, more rational (and more awake) one of us to touch the other person on the arm and say gently, 'he's in his crib, in his bedroom, he's okay.'

So I don't know why I'm surprised that, even though Ben is in ANOTHER STATE right now (at my lovely mother's house, in New Jersey), being loved and hugged and taken care of, I woke up about 27 times last night. Every single time, I thought I heard him crying - wailing even, because I was trying to sleep, and ignoring him. Perhaps he was sending ESP waves to me, and really had a rough night at my mom's, but I'm almost certain that's not the case. In any event, it's official: even though I don't ever feel like I'm more than 20 years old, tops, I'm a parent now. Doomed to sleepless nights for the rest of my life.

Just for fun, a picture of Ben on the way to Grandmommy and Poppy's house. (Yes, that's a bottle of Infant Tylenol in his hands. It's closed all the way, but he likes squeezing the top of it.) He talked himself to sleep and literally fell asleep in about 5 seconds (his Pop-Pop Reif would be proud). Hence the open mouth. He's a trip.