episode.

The above pic might not be the best quality, but it’s an example of a station in the NICU. This is where Ben was almost two weeks ago and he’s made great progress. We’re so thankful.

He’s doing well in the intermediate room, eating pretty well. When I come in to feed him he likes to fall asleep, still. I tell myself not to take it personally, that I’m not a boring person, and that it’s just hard work for a newborn to drink, swallow, and breathe at the same time. If you think about it, the things we do and take for granted don’t come naturally to little ones.

I’ve grown to hate the term ‘episode.’ It’s a term used by the nurses in the NICU to describe a not-so-good thing. When I call in the middle of the night, or in the morning when we wake up, to get an update on Ben, and they tell us he had some ‘episodes’, it makes my heart sink.

The episodes Ben has been having are a lot like sleep apnea in adults. Ben’s still so little and young and new to the world that when he is sleeping, sometimes he forgets to breathe. It’s not a good thing because when the episodes come along, he’s not getting the oxygen he needs. We’ve been there a couple of times when this happens, and the alarms go off. We’ll be happy when he’s healthy and home and we don’t have to hear those alarms anymore.

The good thing is that the nurses aren’t worried about Ben. This type of thing is common in babies like him. They have prescribed him a dosage or two of caffeine every day, which helps his neurological system to ‘remember’ to breathe.

I went in for his 8:30 am feeding this morning, and he did well. After Chris gets home, we’ll have some dinner and then head over to the hospital for his 8:30 pm feeding. Overnight tonight, they’ll feed him again by bottle. The goal is to get him up to 8 feedings by mouth. So far, he’s only up to 3. Little by little, he’s getting better.

They keep telling us what a good baby he is, and what a good temperament he has. Really, the only time I’ve heard him get fussy is if he’s cold, or if he’s being woken up. He likes to cuddle up and snooze. I’m looking forward to seeing Dad and Ben sleeping on the couch - Ben on Chris’ chest. It’ll melt my heart.

update:
We’re not heading into the hospital tonight. I was up really early to get into school, and Chris was back to work, and got home late.

It was great to see everyone at work today. People had such well wishes for us. My coworkers put in for a really generous giftcard to Babies ‘r’ Us, and I got two really nice cards signed by people. I am really going to miss not seeing everyone every day. I work with some great people.

I just called the NICU to tell them we’re not heading in - Ben hasn’t had any more episodes, and he’s up to 5 lbs, 2.7 oz - higher than his original birth weight! This is great news.