little boy.

Ben is so little. All babies are little, of course, but we’re reminded of how small he really is when we go to burp him. An adult can’t help but hold him awkwardly - we’re just always afraid we’ll hurt him somehow.

In the picture above, you’ll see what looks like ridges in his skull. Those are the bones of his skull, that haven’t quite settled into their homes. When he’s older he won’t have the ridges. I’m also hoping he loses the forehead wrinkles. We can’t have Ben being a worrier like his mom.
He’s still young enough that he’s only really awake when it’s time to eat. The NICU nurses told us to try tummy time with him from the get-go - so that’s what we’re about to do in the picture above. He’s not sure if he wants to be awake or not. We love this picture because you can really see just how tiny he is.


Chris tries to make me feel better about the fact that the child looks nothing like me. He tells me that Ben has my chin. Who knows if that’s true or not. I tell myself that he’ll grow into himself and look different in a couple of months.


Tummy time didn’t last long, but we had some fun watching him.

He eats every three hours or so, and then at night he gives me a break and lasts about 4 hours without eating. We’re getting more used to this schedule. I’m trying to get better at making use of the time in between. He feeds for about an hour so I have 2 or 3 hours to get things done, or to rest.

I’ll admit that every time I hear him stirring, when those three hours are up and he’s hungry again, I get a little nervous. I get nervous that I’ll forget something while I’m changing him, or do something wrong, or not give him enough to eat. I get nervous that I’m holding him wrong, or that he’s too hold or too cold, or needs to be burped again, or... You can see the list goes on an on. I tell myself that all of my worries are normal.

The wonderful thing is that Chris and I make a great team. Never once has he complained that I wake him in the middle of the night to ask for a wipe, or to ask him to hold the pacifier in Ben’s mouth while I change him, or whatever. He’s been a champ. He was my hero three weeks ago, and he’s my hero still.

Our families are also (still) wonderful. I feel sort of badly that they got the raw end of the deal - they were here to help us when Ben was born, and when I got sent home and was basically incapacitated; and they’re here to help again. A double dose, if you will. I feel badly that the first go-round, they were helping us out so much and didn’t even get to spend significant time with Ben. I know Ben isn’t going anywhere but I will always feel sort of guilty about that.
Another three hours is up - I must run. Have a great weekend!