Liz Loves the Hospital.

I must really love the hospital.

Friday morning I woke at 5:30 am to get my day started, and it was apparent that something different, and new, and scary, was going on with my body.

For those of you who don’t like details, that’s okay. I’ll just say that we had a bit of a scare at our house - scarier, I’d say, than the morning Ben was born - and Chris took me to the hospital.

(Once again, Chris proved to be stronger and more level-headed than I am. If he hadn’t been with me, and taking care of me that morning, I don’t know what kind of shape I’d be in right now. I can say with all seriousness that he’s my hero. He’s been my strength, and he’s taken such great care of me. I don’t have the words to express it very well right now, and don’t know if I ever will.)

Some tests were run and it turned out that I was hemorrhaging. I was taken to the OR on Friday afternoon at 1 pm for a procedure called a D&E, and put under using general anesthesia. I woke up after the procedure and immediately felt better than I had before. Turns out my body was trying to help me out all along this week, and that the fever and chills I’d been having were warning signs.

The NICU nurses joked that I’d do anything to be close to Ben, and I can’t say I minded being so close to him again - though I was only feeling up to two visits during my stay there.

Throughout my stay, the doctors checked my hemoglobin levels because of the hemorrhaging. When I got there yesterday morning, I had a level of 10 - higher, the doctors told me, than when I’d left after having Ben - but last night it’d gone down to 7. This morning my doctor came in to talk to me, and prepared me for the fact that I might have to have a blood transfusion if the levels went down to 5. I was relieved to find out an hour or so later that the levels had stayed at 7.

If you saw me right now you’d think I look pretty pale. It’s the first thing Chris mentioned when they let him into the recovery room to see me - that I look yellow. The doctor told me that since I’d lost so much blood, it’d take my body 3 months or so to get back to normal in terms of blood production. Apparently red blood cells take 180 days or so to reproduce. In the meantime I have to watch for dizziness, shortness of breath, and chest pains - and take iron pills. If I feel as good as I do now, I don’t think I’ll have anything to worry about. If you would mind, keep your fingers crossed and keep me in your prayers. I really don’t love the hospital.

We visited Ben at 2:30 pm today. He’s doing great - still at 4lbs 15 oz - and is eating well. He’s been reaching little milestones in terms of feedings, so that’s encouraging. They’re still not sure when he’ll be able to come home, but it’s great to see him doing well.

The nurses have told us that white males are slowest to recover and get strong as preemies. They even have a term - WWM (wimpy white males) - to describe them. We laughed out loud when they told us at first, but apparently it’s a medically documented fact.

I’m home now, and on the couch, and I’m not sure that it’s ever felt so good. I think we’re going to watch a movie or something tonight.

It’s important to note that all along the way we have been blessed. Allow me, because I am a geek, to make a list of blessings:

• My body wasn’t going to be able to hold Ben much longer without threatening his life and being dangerous to mine, so it decided that it was time for his early arrival.

• The doctors and nurses who cared for me during my delivery were amazing, and made me feel like a champ before, during and after my labor and delivery.

• Ben was born at 5 lbs 2 oz. - chunky, dare I say, for a 33-weeker. This helped him to be a healthier, stronger baby from the start.

• The NICU doctors and nurses at the hospital have been so caring - both for us and Ben.

• Ben was not home on Friday when I had my health problems - he was in the NICU, being watched over. As it was all happening, I remember taking a moment to be so thankful that we didn’t have an infant at home.

• I didn’t have to have a blood transfusion!

We continue to thank friends and family for everything, and all the well wishes. And an important point I’d like to make: I’m not so deluded as to think that we’re the only people ever to have become parents, or to have gone through tough times, or to have been scared about the health of their newborn. I hope it doesn’t seem like that when I write. It just helps me to be able to write feelings and experiences down as each day passes. So, please forgive me for seeming self-centered.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Labor Day Weekend!