one of those days.

Holy Cow.

We ran around a lot today. We got a new car yesterday because our lease was up today, and in addition to the dropoff of the old car, we had to get it detailed. So there was lots of running back and forth, with crying boys. We got home late.

Ben is cranky because he is hurting still, and refusing to take medicine, still. I've done the applesauce thing. I've bribed. I've pleaded. I've even pinned him down and squirted the medicine in his mouth (and have the scratches on my face to prove it). So in the meantime, when he refuses the medicine, I give him Children's Chewable Tylenol tablets. Which are in no way as strong, or as helpful, as his prescribed pain meds. But I'm trying.

And Ryan? He's still as happy as he's able to be, but he's getting his other bottom tooth, and his gums are so swollen, and I keep misplacing the Motrin all over the house. And his teething tablets. So as luck would have it, every time he seems to be in the most pain, and the most tired, is when I can't find something to help him with his pain.

I like having two boys. I love having two boys. I realized tonight that I am also incredibly thankful to have my husband (have I mentioned how patient he is?).

It was bedtime, and we'd diapered and pj'ed the boys, and he took Ben and I took Ryan, as we do every night. And I'm in the back bedroom with Ryan, getting ready to feed him and put him down, and Ryan's screaming. And down the hall I hear Chris, trying to reason with Ben, to please take his medicine. and Ben's screaming for Mommy, screaming NO, screaming incoherently and overtired-ly. And I took a moment and looked down at my crying almost-6 month-old and his cute sad face, and heard his brother down the hall, and took a deep breath and smiled. Sometimes it's nice to be able to have an out-of-body experience and see the humor in everything. This is life.

Oh and. When I got downstairs, Sophie had peed on the carpet and pooped (twice. TWICE.) in the kitchen.

And Chris and I are so, so tired. Ben hasn't been sleeping well for, oh, months. Every night he comes into our room. I can't remember the last time he slept through the night. And so Ben will come into our room and cry and need help being settled back to sleep (between us, where he'll toss and turn and kick and punch for the rest of the night). And he'll finally fall asleep and I'll lie there awake, just waiting for Ryan to wake up. Which, lately, he does frequently in the night because he's teething and uncomfortable.

This past weekend I was excited to hang out with Chris. I fell asleep ridiculously early both nights on the couch. I tell him a lot that I miss him. Silly, yes. But I do. We are both so busy with work and the boys and the house and life.

I don't know where I'm going with this. I just wanted to write down how I feel today. It's 8:54pm and Chris just got downstairs from putting Ben to bed, and I'm gonna go hang out with my husband. SNL's Christmas special is on.